Week 1: Days 2-4
Exploring who we are through memory, "home" and strength.
What is your first memory?
Why do humans care about memories? Memories are so fallible - the more we study them and the process of making them, the more we understand just how flawed they are. But they remain important to us - and to psychologists - because:
They set us in context
Our memories, as flawed as they are, are the images that set us as a person inside our context. The definition of context in psychological thought refers to the particular set of circumstances, conditions or environments that shape our perceptions of others, of the world and our self .Context in this case is a catch-all term for how we grew up, who (peers, family, friends, teachers), and what (economics, the place we were born, education) influenced us. Context gives us clues to who we are and why we think and behave the way we do.
They can be shared
Our shared memories are powerful because they help us reference our context with others. When we reminisce, we check our memory accuracy and also engage in the emotions of those who shared the experience. They also lead to shared understandings of interactions or events. The “where were you when [this] happened” phenomenon helps us understand events on a big group or society level.
Our first memories often tell us about ourselves in ways that other memories don’t. They often include important people who shape our lives (good and bad). They may reflect some kind of leap in thinking or understanding, an “ah-ha” moment. Or they may seem mundane but represent the first time you truly felt an emotion.
Your first memory is one of the windows into who you are. Take your time with this one.
What is “home” to you? Who or what is there?
Home can mean different things to different people. That’s why so many songs, poems, pieces of art reflect on the concept and the people involved in “home”.
Your early memories may inform this or they may not. Day 2 doesn’t necessarily have to lead into Day 3; they were written as separate prompts. Some people didn’t have much of a home growing up, and are creating it from scratch.
Home can be a place - a house, apartment, some sort of shared space, outdoors, on a boat, in a plane… It can be a sense or feeling. And it may or may not include beings you choose to live with - relatives, friends, animals. And sometimes “home” is a place you’ve never been but are still seeking.
Home - whatever it means to us - is another window into who we are. When writing in your journal today, consider the ideas, images, people, sounds, smells, and feelings that make “home” to YOU. Write them down in as much detail as you can.
What are the strengths you bring to any situation?
My intake packet for new clients includes a question on personal strengths that’s much like this prompt. Many people have a hard time answering this one, or skip it altogether. And I make a point to discuss their answers (or lack of) in our first session. When you can recognize and discuss the things about you that YOU think are strong, you’re in a good place. You can represent yourself positively to the world no matter what you may be struggling with. And you can use those strengths to overcome struggles.
If you have a hard time with this prompt, try crowd-sourcing from friends or family. See what others think about your best or strongest traits. Do you agree or disagree with them? Does talking about this with others help you identify other strengths that they missed?
If your list of strengths comes relatively easily for you, try to think about the situations or circumstances where these strengths come into play.
If you don’t want to crowd-source AND you can’t think of anything, try drawing a picture of you as a strong person. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and see yourself as “strong” in whatever that looks like to you. Ear-mark this page in some way and come back to it later once you’ve progressed a bit more through this journal.