Day 169: On Empathy
How do you know you have empathy for another person? If you struggle to feel empathy, what do you think stands in your way?
Think back to the last time you felt present with another person. You knew you were listening to them - perhaps they were telling a story or relating a difficult situation - and you were engaged, following details, asking questions.
What did this feel like in your body?
What did it feel like in your mind?
How much effort did this take for you?
When you listen intently to someone and imagine yourself in their shoes, you’re “doing” empathy. It feels differently to each person in body and mind, but the outcome is the same: you are present and paying attention.
One of the quintessential lessons of psychology grad school and anyone who’s taken an EQ (emotional intelligence) test is that empathy is NOT sympathy.
Empathy is trying to understand how the other person feels, thinks, etc.
Sympathy is how YOU would feel if YOU were going through what they are going through
The difference is important - empathy helps you take perspective from another’s experience, sympathy puts you in the middle of the story.
People get this wrong all the time. Its ok, but do you get a sense of how empathy - if “done” correctly - can be a powerful underpinning of relationships and social cohesion?